Heard it rained in the southern part of the State. Some places were inundated and most parts battered. However, it's hot as usual in Chennai. No respite from the scorcher, which is draining the life force out of the gentry.

Chennai has the most peculiar climate I've ever witnessed. The seasons are three: hot, hotter and hottest. Given its proximity to sea, I had expected more of a maritime climate than the hot fare I am subjected to. My place in Kerala somehow feels better in terms of heat and humidity, for both are bearable. Much like the climatic conditions of the city, the political world here is all heated up and ready to explode. The party in power here is a pale shadow of its former self. Fringe elements are having a field day and scaremongering is on the rise. More actors are taking the political plunge and less leaders of substance are coming up. There was a time when a woman used to control the State with authority unprecedented in history and unheard of anywhere in the world. She's been dead for over a year now

Yesterday was torn between reading and watching a movie. At the end of the tussle, nothing transpired. I wanted to watch the movie: The Day of the Jackal. However, as I had not read the Forsyth novel, I was loath to watch the movie and have a fair idea of the plot even before reading the book. So skipped on that part. Now, between Hard Times of Dickens and Tugenev's Fathers and Sons, I was unsure which to take. The tussle occupied the better part of 30 minutes and I ended up dropping the plan altogether. Could not sleep either and was tossing and turning throughout the night, so walked again into the study room and saw that there were many titles, bought years ago, untouched. I sort of got melancholic when I realised that I would not be able to read most of the books by the time my end came. The morbid thought occupied my mind for a brief while and then came Caesar, wagging his tail.

I have come to the studied conclusion that none of us matters. We, in our deluded sense of ego go about our businesses, hoping to hack nature's system to prolong our agonising stay on earth indefinitely. This ignorance of the imminent end is what causes all the problems in our lives. We tend to forget that it's the natural laws that always have the last laugh. Amassing wealth and petty politicking consumes all our energies and we bask in the glory of achievements, forgetting that at the end of the day we are none too different than a virus or a bacterium. If we realised our insignificance and started living in the knowledge of our incapacity, most of our problems would diminish. I'm not talking about a passive life, devoid of any action. What I mean is when we perform our duty with no expectation. When expectation creeps in, there's an element of personal in the work. If we lose our ego, we can lead a better life, with little worries and sorrows. Death is an integral part of living. All our actions, no matter how great or petty, lead towards that end. Once we are gone, it doesn't matter how we laughed, we played, we loved or lived. Even the most close ones would pick up the pieces and start afresh, anew. A thought I have to dedicate time for before coming to any major conclusion.